if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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