is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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