i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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