I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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