How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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