in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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