He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
