help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
