It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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