either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
