If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There's a naked man in my car right now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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