I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
