You work out of a Hotel?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
