You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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