Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
