Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
