the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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