I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think people are normalizing furries
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
