dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
