I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So. Much. Porn.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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