you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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