and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Even my vagina gasped.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
