i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
