I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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