I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I currently don't understand fingers.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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