I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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