Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
