I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
