So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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