ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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