is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
