Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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