I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
