at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
