It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if only i could text you this smell
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
