Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
