try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
