I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
