I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
