I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
