adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
