Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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