3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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