Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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