i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
