so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
