you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
