so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
