we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
