every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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