He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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